Does Liking Women’s Soccer Make You Gayer?

I love soccer. And I’m pretty sure I love women. So why don’t I love Women’s Professional Soccer? Or do I, secretly? These are questions I fear to answer because any serious soul-searching might uncover the misogynistic pig within. That, or I’ll end up stripping away a vestigial layer of macho-callous that has kept me straight and largely insensitive to the needs of women through the years. Oh well, here goes…

I probably like women's soccer more than this Norwegian defender does.

There are a few things about women’s soccer that I know. First, I know that I like the idea of girls playing soccer. I always have. It’s a beautiful sport that women add to in uniquely savvy and vicious and really just hot ways. I like seeing women in short shorts. I like watching them make guys look dumb on coed fields. I’ve always thought soccer provided more fertile ground for women than other team sports – something about its blend of touch and guile, grace and ruthlessness. It has always been half feminine. Most of my biggest crushes in life have been on female soccer players, through high school to now. I used to think I had a shot with Mia Hamm, but then I realized I respected Nomar too much to move in on his woman. So I moved, weirdly enough, onto Shannon MacMillan. I was a teenager and it was the nineties and I was a sucker for in-swingers. And now there are a few current players in the WPS that I would dump my girlfriend for in a second. I’ve prepared her for this.

I know that I want the league to succeed. I want a sustainable women’s professional sports league to exist besides the WNBA, which would crumble without the support of the NBA. I want professional soccer to be a dream and a scrappy career choice for young girls the world over. Call me a sap, but I don’t think I’m the only guy who wants this.

I know that I enjoy WPS when I watch it, especially live. It’s often better than any women’s soccer I’ve ever seen, including any international games. I saw remarkable talent on display on WPS’s opening day, on the Los Angeles Sol and the Washington Freedom. Nevermind Marta – she’s fantastic. I watched Shannon Boxx control the game better than a lot of MLS midfielders. I watched Sonia Bompastor run riot on the wing with a lethal blend of pace and control. I watched Aya Miyama strike angled passes that most people of any gender don’t see. In watching the WPS, I’ve been drawn to female players in a way that I never thought possible, both for their savvy and their style. Yes, style. If you don’t believe me then watch the Breakers’ Kelly Smith, who can weave in and out of traffic at will. Watch the Gold Pride’s Tiffany Weimar, who attacks with a courage and abandon that is sorely lacking in MLS forwards.

WPS produces great women’s soccer. There’s really only one problem with it: it’s not men’s soccer. Without getting into an argument about Title Nine and other messy subjects, this is the most honest reason I can give for why I’ll watch just about any men’s game over any women’s game, and why so many other people would rather do the same. When given the choice of a Latvian B League men’s game vs. the WPS, I would probably go with good old FK Dinamo-Rīnūži. Itawamba Community College men’s vs. WPS … same. A U-14 Boys Club vs. WPS … this is when I start to question if WPS will work.

My main explanation for this attitude is that women’s soccer is slow, at any level. It’s inarguably, frustratingly, heart-murmeringly slow. I’m not saying that the players aren’t as smart or quick-thinking or savvy as men. I’m not saying Marta wouldn’t school me one on one. The game is just slower than the men’s game. Men create goals out of nothing – a turnover in midfield turns into a top corner screamer that you miss wiping a speck of salsa off your shirt. In a women’s game, I’ll see the turnover (wait … yup, there it is) and know I’ll have time to hit the bathroom and get a cold one before it gets converted into the goal that grows along with the grass at midfield. (Side note: Speaking for washed up male athletes everywhere, I’m also the first to admit that male egos get in the way of our willingness to appreciate or respect women sports. We see women run and kick and instead of admiring them we think, “That’s cute, but I could run faster, kick harder.” We imagine that we would be the best player out on that field, or that we could have been if given the chance. Even if we wouldn’t, a lot of us still believe this. I don’t know why, but the reason for this probably gets at the root of the male psyche.)

Other reasons exist for the general populace’s dismissal of, and even contempt for, women’s professional soccer. The league has failed to produce many goals, for example. As a whole, the league averages around 2 goals per game. But this doesn’t differ too starkly from most men’s professional leagues. Another reason fans don’t care, as Jennifer Doyle points out in a thought-provoking post on watching women’s football, is that the media ignores women’s soccer. Media goliaths and local papers alike don’t give fans, or potential fans, the chance to follow hidden story lines about underdogs or phenoms or scandals that undoubtedly exist in the game. But these two reasons seem only bi-products of the root reason women get ignored; men are better than women at soccer. Men put out a better product.

So what chance does the league have if die hard soccer fans like myself would rather watch so many male forms of the game before stooping to watching women’s soccer? Some. But only if fans let the game in, checking their egos while seeing the women’s version as a legitimate and attractive alternative. For a lot of us, myself included, this isn’t easy. But as much as I’ll bitch about the slowness of women’s soccer, I also think its pace provides a unique charm and rhythm, subdued by laws of physics but also tapping into higher levels of communication. This could be seen as a backhanded diss, but it’s also why I find the women’s game uniquely compelling. As Jennifer Doyle suggests, women’s teams often play with more cohesion and passion than men’s teams. They have to. They have more to prove, playing for an entire gender’s future in the sport. As teams, they slog against the momentum-shifting tides of the game. Also, the pace of the game highlights fundamentals – the spacing and angles and subtle techniques that link teams together. Unfortunately, when people say that any version of anything “highlights fundamentals” it usually serves as a cheap defense for the way that thing lacks transcendent powers, but women’s soccer doesn’t. Less hectic and driven than the men’s game, it can heighten your sense of what is there, like listening to more minimalist music. You hear spaces. You swell with chord changes. If you’re ready for them, you get in touch with feelings you never knew you had. Some of my friends will probably punch me for saying all this. But I’m starting to believe it’s true, kind of like when I started listening to Brian Eno. There is a time and place for it.

Despite the barriers of ignorance and contempt, the league has so far drawn close to its target number of fans, enough to market its sustainability and streamlined financial structure. Fans like me follow it, battling with inner demons while truly trying to respect and appreciate the league. I’ll go to more games. I route for the league and its fundamentally grassroots marketing campaign during an era in which preferences typically get determined from the top down. I raise more beers than I could otherwise afford to its cheap ticket prices and the players’ unequaled appreciation for the fans. But it’s no secret that the league needs more fans to succeed.

“We need to get out of the ghetto of being a role model for girls,” Andy Crossley, the Boston Breakers’ director of business development, said in a recent New York Times article. “You can’t make dads feel like they’re visiting Chuck E. Cheese’s.”

The problem is I’m not sure if anyone knows how the league can change this. WPS works best as an inspiring example for young girl players. And as millions of them exist in this country, this isn’t a bad selling point. But to draw in the rest of us skeptics remains a challenge that will take a lot more than just innovative social media marketing.

I wonder if it will take a change in the game itself, something besides the evolution of women players that lessens the talent gap between genders. Like, I’d like to see games with two balls in play, or games with guest male players from the crowd, or games with interactive crowds that could choose the lineup changes or fire good-natured projectiles at players. Then again, these are idiotic ideas that would undermine the sanctity of any sport. If I were commissioner of WPS, however, I’d at least consider some freakishly creative options. Maybe the league could start with some more delicate and minor alterations in the game’s rules to favor offense, to give the league more ammunition. Smaller fields? Smaller goal box? Bigger goals? Why let conventional rules constrict the excitement of the game? Why not start something new, make the product more unique and less comparable to the male-dominated version of the game that the vast majority of people will only continue to see as better?

OK, I get why. But any other ideas? Or does anybody else even care?◊

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