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Posts Tagged Landon Donovan

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO U.S. SOCCER FANDOM

To all those who rode their first wave of U.S. soccer fandom into the hot Mexican dust, welcome! Brush that dirt off your coat. Hang it up. Stay awhile. And chin up for god sakes. It’s not that bad. I’m here to help you through it. There are just a few things you should know so you don’t make rookie blunders like buying an Eddie Johnson jersey or dislexifying Onyewu’s name.

1. As you see, we get to trade hands-behind-our-back gut punches with Mexico. It’s only fair, except we take punches in Mexico with both hands behind our back, and they take punches with only one hand behind theirs. Therefore you should always complain that they hit us with dirtier and louder and more painful shots. Because they do.

The image “http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YTYSOFaGjQM/SZOyBBVaI5I/AAAAAAAABQQ/EyoUIsVfdyI/s400/US+Soccer+Fan.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

2. No matter how easy it seems to qualify for the World Cup, remain skeptical when asked about the U.S.’s prospects of doing so. Play up underrated third world competition: “I dunno, I mean teams without stable governments just have more to play for, you know.” We don’t want too many other continental confederations catching onto the fact that qualification in CONCACAF is structured like those End-of-Camp-Prizes where even the kid who threw a flaming poop pie at another cabin gets an award for his attitude. As much as the U.S. would benefit from a more difficult road to qualification, imagine qualifying once every twelve years, like Ireland or Romania do. Screw that!

3. Whenever we lose or tie you should question Bob Bradley’s lineup decisions. This goes for being a fan of any soccer team, but especially a Bob Bradley team. To do this, simply pick a few players who aren’t Donovan, Dempsey, Onyewu, or Howard, and then ask why Bradley played them. Try it for the Mexico loss. “Man, I don’t understand why he started Clark or DeMerrit or _____ . They’re ok, but they’re just not international quality.”

4. Brian Ching starts because he’s a good “target man”. He’s kind of like an NBA player that sets a really good screen, plays solid defense, and maybe can throw an accurate entry pass. Fundamentals are very very important, especially when trying to compete at the international level. Got it?

5. One way to look like you know what you’re talking about is to say, win or lose, that the U.S. would be better off if it hired a renowned international coach.

6. Also, when watching games with friends, you should say at least once a game that U.S. soccer needs to change its development structure “from the ground up.” You don’t need to provide any details about how to accomplish this. The only evidence you need is that the U.S. never wins any big games and hasn’t produced its own Pele yet. People will be in awe of your deep knowledge of the system’s flaws.

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7. Oh, and if you really want to be a true national team fan, you should make sure that you know all the players on the U.S. team but nobody on any other CONCACAF team that we play. Except it’s OK to know that Blanco guy, and that tricky Gio-something-or-other on Mexico, our arch-rivals. But you’re not allowed to know or praise anyone else because then you might look too sympathetic. Refer to these players by number or racial epithet. Anytime a player on some third world team appears one of the best players on the field then it’s obviously a result of the U.S. playing so shitty by comparison. It’s way easier to criticize the U.S. players’ performances than learn and praise new names.

8. You should probably buy a “Soccer Wave” for your kids. These are really handy, because they like totally launch the ball back to you! If you can’t afford one of these revelations then you should settle for those precisely angled nets that bounce the ball back to you in the air. Just don’t let your kids pass the ball against a wall! It’s like, “where do we live? Rio?”

9. Never watch any MLS games. You will mysteriously get dumber about soccer.◊

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“AZTECA BLUES”

By Landon Donovan

The image “http://www.flipflopflyin.com/g/azteca5.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Touch down in Mexico City, this is gonna be a blast
Touch down in the Valley baby, this is gonna be a blast

Out on the open airstrip, breath of dying horse’s ass.

Tour Azteca at dusk now, this place is kinda scary
Tour Azteca’s big shadows, this place is kinda scary

In the slack air of the black top, I hope the hooker’s spare me.

Can’t get any sleep at night, back of my dome is bumpin
Can’t sleep in this air tonight, back of my dome is bumpin

Hotel walls are mighty thin, and hoes above me won’t stop thumpin.

Chorus
Tired and weary but we’re not gonna lose.
Just can’t shake these low down high-headed Azteca Blues.

On the field in the heat of day, sun like a yellow toe nail
On the field in the heat of noon, sun like a yellow toe nail

Crowd so loud and hot now, nobody gonna hear me wail.

Nice turn and Davies is through, how do you say ‘Hola Bitches’?
Nice turn and a Davies goal, how do you say “Hola Bitches’?

That didn’t last too long though, they’re shredding our ‘D’ to stitches.

They say I got some quick feet, but Mexicans might be quicker
They say I got some wheels, but Mexicans might be quicker.

Run after her all day, but the ball won’t let me lick ‘er

Chorus
We’re tied in the first half, but we’re not gonna lose
Just can’t shake these low down lead-footed Azteca Blues.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XHx--ETqRVY/R2I9pSiL2BI/AAAAAAAAAZM/7AXaldq-et0/s320/azteca-mexico-city.jpg

Bob says we need to keep the ball, but we keep giving it away
Bob says we need possession, but our backs keep giving it away

Might as well give em the match, cause we’ve plattered the fillet.

That goal was always comin, you can’t chase them forever.
That goal was always comin, you can’t chase them forever.

I’d kill to get one back, but my legs like rusty levers.

Now my stomach’s cramped, and my head’s a sweaty glue
Now I got the cramps bad, and my head’s a sweaty glue

I need some serious rest, plus Doc says I got the Swine Flu.

Chorus

Well we lost like I kinda always knew
Just can’t shake these low down snake-eyed Azteca Blues.◊

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3191/3083144911_59080bb845_b.jpg

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MY VERY OWN MODERATING EDITORIAL REFLECTIVE ON THE STATE OF U.S. SOCCER IN LIEU OF THE CONFEDERATIONS CUP FINALS

With its run to the Confederations Cup final the U.S. national team has inched closer to shedding its liminal status – between soccer nobody and soccer somebody. It’s closer to deserving more international respect. It’s also closer to disrupting the sine curve of results that has produced infrequent upsets against superior teams (see 1930, 1950, 1998, 2002), to which we can add Spain, 2009. The tipping point won’t come with one result, and probably won’t come for a while. But the national exposure and enthusiasm that comes with the country’s recent international success undoubtedly works toward expediting a protracted molting process.

http://blog.oregonlive.com/fifa-world-cup/2009/06/large_dempsey-donovan-brazil-ap.jpg

The U.S. performance in the Confederations Cup has soccer fans and non-fans in this country buzzing, looking to compare it with the most unlikely upsets in American sporting history. The win over Spain drew comparisons to the “Miracle on Ice” when an amateur U.S. hockey team defeated the U.S.S.R. in 1980. On grass, the U.S. played with similar determination and sacrifice. The team deserved all the heart-pounding adjectives lavished on it by the media. On Sunday, the U.S. continued its attempt to upset the balance of the soccer world, like a buoy jammed underwater. The U.S. almost withstood Brazil. But it didn’t. Brazil’s second-half dominance restored the balance of the global game.

I’m not glad that the U.S. lost. But in a way it might be the right result, the most natural one. Yes, a U.S. win would have further boosted the prominence of soccer in our homeland. But it also might have made us too giddy and too expectant, made the average fan too annoyingly confident in the face of foreign superiority that demands our modesty and respect. I’m not ready for the U.S. to shed its underdog mentality yet. This mentality is unifying and powerful. And I don’t think the nation is ready for anything else.

As many of the more sober analysts have already said, the U.S.’s performance doesn’t mean that the team has “arrived!” or that we can consistently compete and win against the giants of the game. Like Spanish defender Carles Puyol suggested, if the U.S. played Spain ten times, it would lose nine. Probably true. For this reason alone, the U.S. victory over Spain deserves a resounding celebration. It also deserves a re-sounding after the media’s swooning over this team dries up until next year’s World Cup. It’s easy to get carried away. Soccer serves as one of the few sporting arenas where Americans can actually be considered underdogs, where we can still route for the grit and guts of our players instead of for the superiority of factory-produced physiques and skills. This is part of what makes the sport so attractive to me in this country. It’s still raw and unpolished compared to the real article. This is also the problem. Americans aren’t as technically trained or refined as their South American and European counterparts. This is a cruel fact. They lack the suave, the guile, the natural creativity. In short, they lack the style. Despite the U.S. success in the Confederations Cup, its lack of style still represents the team’s most glaring weakness.

The team’s heart and work-ethic might lay the foundation of a larger identity, but this identity is still barely forming. Passion and bravery can take a group far – about as far as a ragged U.S. team pushed in the Confederations Cup. But In an international sport in which every team pours forth with fully stocked wells of passion, it’s the skill-level of players that makes the difference.

http://blog.nj.com/njv_editorial_page/2009/06/large_soccer-USA_v_Brazil_.jpg

Lacking such skill, the U.S. needs to hang on against better teams, to pray for the right opportunities and to pounce on them. For the majority of both the Spain and Brazil games the U.S. defense dug its nails in against a wave of relentless and flowing attacks. In those two games, the U.S. got out-shot 35-12. But it played with a remarkable understanding of its own abilities. It played with intelligent and relentless defensive pressure, with measured and swift counter-attacks that punished the best teams in the world for their over-aggressiveness. Such a backs-against-the-wall survivalist mentality might force other nations to give more respect to our bite, but it won’t necessarily give us the self-belief or self-evident expression needed to carve out space on the stage of world soccer powers.

Landon Donovan summed up a lot of this in typically political fashion in comparing an emerging U.S. team to an established Brazilian one after the U.S. loss: “We’ve got the potential to be at that level. The difference is, Brazil has been there before. A lot of their players have been in games like this, and they knew how to finish it and how to win. We still have to learn that. We have a lot of guys on our team who haven’t played a lot of national team games, haven’t played a lot of high-level club games, that were starting. You can tell there’s a difference there.”

“Look, it’s Brazil,” Donovan said. “You have to expect they’re going to get chances. They’re going to keep coming. What are you going to do? They have players that are probably worth three times as much as our whole team. There’s a reason for that.”

The American players are coming, slowly. Soccer in this country is growing, in fits and starts, only some of which we can measure. Most importantly, it continues to grow at the grassroots level, as passion for the global game fills the fissures of America’s fractured sports landscape. Participation in youth soccer continues to swell. Immigrant blood continues to boost passion for the sport while eroding the sport’s stubborn stigma as white and suburban. The sport reflects glimpses of this growth at its frothing head, measured by the commercial interest and TV ratings it attracts.

As the late great Brit-American journalist Steven Wells said it in a recent interview with Richard Whittall on EPL talk: “I’d even go as far as to say that the day that soccer really succeeds in the US isn’t when the US wins the World Cup, it’s when it becomes the default sport in the nation’s playgrounds. Which—in Darwinian terms—it really should, being far better suited to that arena (and way more fun as well as being better exercise) than all the alternatives. Way to go yet though…”

I agree with Wells. I just suspect, or at least hope, that the two measurements of success that he suggests will coincide.◊

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WHAT? THE U.S. EMERGES OUT OF GROUP OF WORLD CUP CLASS

No Heart? I’m All Heart Mother…

*As the U.S. National Team attempts to qualify for the World Cup in 2010, I will write a series of pieces concentrating on the style, or lack of it, of American soccer. See the other three here and here and here.

Lucky? Yeah. Holy shit, yeah. The U.S. got a waist-high boost from Brazil’s 3-0 thrashing of Italy to advance to the semifinal round of the Confederations Cup. But after the grit and determination it showed on Sunday, the team deserves some apologies, some reconsideration.

Before Sunday, most critics wrote the team off as over-classed and under-talented when compared with any good international team. Maybe this is true. But for me watching the U.S. was more disillusioning than revealing. Following the Brazil game, it looked like the tournament was a lost cause, both in determining a more consistent lineup and in spurring any team or individual confidence. While the U.S. showed that it could frustrate good teams, at least for spells, it looked incapable of producing anything like a functional attack. In one of the more hopeless throes of fandom in recent memory, I just hoped for a few linked passes – a shot on goal.

http://usa.worldcupblog.org/files/2008/10/davies.jpg

After Sunday’s performance against Egypt, we can all take a breath from the thick criticism and humming African air. When it needs to, when it has all eleven players on the field at once, the U.S. can attack. As Paul Gardner said in his pro-attacking reaction to the game: “The straightforward lust for goals is something new for this team, a Bob Bradley team. The usual caution had to be abandoned, and many a risk had to be taken.” Risk produced goals.

In addition to risk, the U.S. showed some of the characteristics that have been most persistent and true to the team’s identity over the years – namely perseverance and energy and grit – all of which the U.S. left behind inexplicably in its first two games. These are some of the principles on which the good ole U.S.A was founded, or so I’ve heard. And in the sports realm they are obvious and unifying. In large part, they represent one reason why I like watching the U.S. play. Usually I know that whichever team the U.S. plays, it will play that opponent hard – maybe too hard – with so much feist and defensive spirit that its opponent won’t have the time or space to work any of its exotic magic. At its best, the U.S. energy creates a different game, one that must be played a faster-than-normal pace, which forces its opponent to raise the magic of its game to a higher level if it is to succeed.

At the very least, this is the legacy of U.S. players like Frankie Hejduk. While he might not be as talented as anyone he lines up against on the wing, he will grind them into the lime of the sidelines with his energy. And in his absence, I hope we can have more talented U.S. defenders play with half his spirit.

Although characteristics like energy and perseverance don’t always win games at the highest level, they don’t lose them either. And as the U.S. proved against Egypt, such characteristics can be as invaluable on attack as on defense. For example, Charlie Davies produced the game’s first goal with more grit than talent. And his effort was emblematic of the U.S. style as a whole. Although it lacked guile, it had a straightforward urgency and speed that necessarily put Egypt under pressure. The other two goals came from purposeful offensive surges. Although hardly flowing or dazzling, they came from clean and efficient attacks that put Egypt at the mercy of American strengths – speed and power.

It was also encouraging to see the personalities of American stars come through their shells in this game. Oguchi Onweyu dominated the air and the box. Landon Donovan attacked with tireless pace and pointed guile. And Michael Bradley put in another performance that worked towards cementing his place in the center of the midfield. A refreshing American talent, he is as gritty as he is technical. The second goal, a quick and precise combination with Donovan that ended with Bradley tucking a sliding pass into the corner of the goal, presented these attributes in one fluid play.

http://www.seattlepi.com/dayart/aponline/48537.41South-Africa-Egypt-US-Confed-Cup-Soccer.sff.jpg

Lastly, Clint Dempsey. For all his too-cool-for-school-and-defense attitude, he often appeared the most creative player in white, unlocking Egypt with a few incisive passes in the first half. And after all the criticism Dempsey endured from commentator John Harkes, some of which was deserved but much of which got comically egregious in the second half as Harkes vented biases about individual players instead of watching the game, Dempsey won the game for the U.S.. His snapping header in traffic displayed exactly the leftover determination that Harkes criticized him for lacking. It left Harkes and all the other critics struggling to capture their surprise and the improbability of the result, to revise the harshness of their reactions to the first two games.

The critics, however (including myself) weren’t necessarily wrong. This is only one win. Many questions about players and tactics persist.

But this game served to remind the critics, and the team itself, that grit or passion (or whatever other cliche you want to use) represents the one fundamental trait that the team needs to survive. All the team’s best players have it. Some could use more of it. It can serve as a baseline from which everything good springs.

Maybe all good teams need such a baseline. But somehow effort seems more crucial to the U.S., maybe because we have little else to rely on. It’s sewn into the fabric of American sports lore. It’s “Miracle” and “Rocky.” It’s a lot of elbow-grease, or maybe knee-grease in soccer’s case, and it’s lung-bursting sprints after the ball. Of course we crave flare and fluidity, more touch and guile, but as long as we have effort we know that other teams will still fear and respect us. And this is crucial to forging any sort of meaningful identity.

As Micheal Bradley said after the game:

“All the f—— experts in America, everybody who thinks they know about soccer, they can all look at the score tonight and let’s see what they have to say now. Nobody has any respect for what we do, for what goes on on the inside, so let them all talk now.” ◊

http://www.dailypress.com/media/photo/2009-02/45026981.jpg

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